Fiona's

已經不止一次這樣獨自面對心裡的恐懼感，我從來都不知道該怎樣面對這樣的情境。
感情處理從來就不是我擅長的區塊，心裡的所有的情緒，總是在就要傾洩而出的那一刻又被全然的嚥入心中。很清楚這樣的壓抑對自己是不好的，但不知道從何時開始，我所有處理情感的神經全都被制約，忘了如何的笑才算真誠，怎樣的哭才能將悲傷宣洩。
直到某天當我從一位歌唱比賽的選手口中聽到這首90年代的情歌時，所有深藏在心裡的許多感觸都在那一首歌的幾分之中被抽出，赤裸裸的難過著。
我沒有哭，只是聽到頭皮發麻。
有好多不願去多想的想法，一些偶爾會浮現的推測和我心裡的真實情感，這些曾經刻意被淡化的，原來一直都是這麼的深刻。
This ain’t a love song but actually it is…

This Ain’t a Love Song (Bon Jovi)

Should have seen it coming when the roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
Should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye

Baby ain’t it funny how we never ever learn to fall
You’re really on your knees when you think you’re standing tall
But only fools are know-it-alls and I’ve played that fool for you

I cried and cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny
Your love drove me crazy baby

If the love that I got for you is gone
And if the river I’ve cried ain’t that long
Then I’m wrong yeah I’m wrong
This ain’t a love song

Baby I thought you and me would
Stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime
But we were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind

Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn’t fade
But you and I were the renegades
Some things never change

It made me so mad ’cause I wanted it bad for us baby
And now it’s so sad that whatever we had
Ain’t worth saving oh oh oh

If the love that I’ve got for you is gone
And if the river I’ve cried ain’t that long
Then I’m wrong yeah I’m wrong
This ain’t a love song

If the pain that I’m feeling so strong
Is the reason I’m holding on
Then I’m wrong yeah I’m wrong
This ain’t a love song

I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that
Your love drove me crazy, baby

If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain’t that long
Then I’m wrong yeah I’m wrong
This ain’t a love song

If the pain that I’m feeling so strong
Is the reason I’m holding on
Then I’m wrong yeah I’m wrong
This ain’t a love song

Then I’m wrong yeah I’m wrong
This ain’t a love song

Then I’m wrong yeah I’m wrong
This ain’t a love song