Fiona's

To be honest, I felt a little bit depressed about the result, though it’s been two months after I submitted my application. This was not the first time of being rejected but reading the mail made me feeling like losing hopes. I was so disappointed…and felt tired of this uncertainty.

“...this means you are no longer in consideration of this position...” As I have always said to myself, no reply is better than a mail of rejection. This morning when the pop-up windows indicated this mail from the school, my heart was beating so fast. I thought this should be a good news coz based on my previous experiences, getting a reply from the company usually means you’re going to have an interview. But after I read the mail, obviously, my presumption wasn’t right this time. Being rejected by this university struck me harder than other companies. I wanted this position so badly.

Therefore, I started to feel upset about my present adversity. I began to doubt my choice of going back to school. All a sudden, my resolution was gone. Getting a doctoral degree was not part of my plan; if I decided to go for it now, I simply wanted to grab anything to make myself busy again. Then I told you this concern of mine, you seemed to feel disappointed about my hesitation. I could understand your worries and how much you wanted me to retrieve my goal of life. But now, I just need time to think it over. I am not giving up my preparation of PhD application.

So...give me some time...I won’t let you down.

Rite now, I just need a hand to hold...